This song was used as the music for Psalm 88. My classification on the Myers Briggs Personality Types was INTP (Introvert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perceiving). Doing a search on the web, it describes my personality type saying “INTPs are well known for their brilliant theories and unrelenting logic, which makes sense since they are arguably the most logical minded of all the personality types. They love patterns, have a keen eye for picking up on discrepancies, and a good ability to read people, making it a bad idea to lie to an INTP. People of this personality type aren’t interested in practical, day-to-day activities and maintenance, but when they find an environment where their creative genius and potential can be expressed, there is no limit to the time and energy INTPs will expend in developing an insightful and unbiased solution.” The key thing I learned from this test was that I am an Introvert, or as defined on the web as “quiet, reserved, and self-sufficient. Socializing drains their energy. Comfortable being alone Processes thoughts internally. Needs time alone to recharge.” Since I was old enough to think about these things, I have always seen myself as insecure. Back in 1994, I was worried about my boys choosing to have long hair, instead of following my understanding of church grooming standards. Problems were serious between Marti and myself. I thought back on the struggles my parents had, how I had influenced Mom to not leave Dad when I drove her and Sara back to Cedar from getting her Master’s Degree at Bowling Green in Ohio. I thought of the emotional scars from the fights her and Dad had night after night, and how Sara and I were in our 40’s before we realized we were each in our own rooms, alone, listening to the screaming. “Left there with thanks, malicious intent as far away as Mars.” This song is another of those very personal songs I have sang to myself for years. When Alan Peterson recorded me singing several of my songs, this was one of the songs he recorded. It was the only song he ever commented on, and he liked the message. Maybe by sharing it in this forum, there will be someone who finds it and can gain from the message. I expect I am not the only person who has had “unfounded fears clutter my mind.” For an image describing my insecurity, I picked an image of the 4 Founders of Landmark Graphics at a 25th reunion of the Founding of Landmark (myself, Andy Hildebrand – who also founded AutoTune, two folks from Landmark at the reunion (whom I do not remember), John Mouton, and Bob Limbaugh.
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